Tuesday, January 8, 2008

The Unpleasant Things That Money Reveals

Psalm 112:1,7 - "...Blessed is the man who fears the Lord... He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord."

I often desire a better financial situation. God does not currently have my wife and I in a very fiscally prominent place, and that has often been a fact that has frustrated me and at times even scared me. It has been like this for the past year and a half, and it has taken several miraculous events in order for us to simply pay our bills. Just to get by. Paycheck to paycheck. Examining virtually every dollar we spend. Constantly wishing we did not have this burden.

But I am afraid my frustration has betrayed an unpleasant fact. I still put my trust in money. The very fact that I am often frustrated reveals discontent with God's will for us. The fact that I am occasionally scared because of money problems reveals that my peace is not in Him. If I trusted Him, my heart would be firm.

So I am forced to ask myself a question: If I were indeed given a better financial situation, would I continue to grow in my trust in Him? At the moment, I am forced by circumstances to appeal to Him, to chase after Him, to learn to trust Him alone. If we lost a car, we could not afford to replace it. However if I made six-digits a year, it would be easy to replace a car, and therefore I would not find myself on my knees before God, trusting Him for the solution. I am not saying that the rich cannot trust God as much as the poor (though the Bible implies this is the case most of the time); I am only saying I am not yet strong enough to trust solely in God when there is something else that provides the illusion of safety (aka money). So the incredibly difficult question I must ask myself is this: Given the choice between a much better financial situation and being poor but closer to God for it, could I have the strength or desire to choose to be poor? Do I trust in Him enough to find my safety in Him no matter what my financial situation looks like? If I am honest enough with myself, I'm afraid the answer reveals much.

This leads me to ask another hard question: what is money to me anyway, and what is my heart regarding it? I will confess to you all that it is too often a means to my own selfish desires: to buy things I want, to eat out whenever I want, to buy more expensive clothing, software, instruments, to provide safety for me and my family (safety regarding bills and debt... hence the frustration and stress when money is low: I do not feel safe). And thus I come to the problem I must face: that I find my safety in money and not in Him. Not only that, but whatever is left over on top of this illusion of safety, I tend to use toward selfish means. My perspective on money is far from healthy. I must learn to view my money as this and only this: as a means to glorify God. Perhaps I do not have more money than I do not because I would not use it for His glory.

But this is why the heart of the righteous can be firm and trust in Him: because when we realize that money is solely for His glory, then we realize that He blesses us with exactly the amount of money we need to glorify Him in His plan for us... not a penny more, not a penny less. We may not always have money, but we will always have what we need to glorify Him.


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