How Does The Armor of God Protect a Marriage?

Ephesians 6:10-12 - "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."

Something I can almost perpetually guilty of is forgetting about the fact that our marriage is taking place in the middle of a massive war, and that everything that happens within our marriage is part of that war, helping either the enemy or our King. And my forgetfulness only contributes to the enemy's ability to turn my thoughts toward myself, thus damaging my marriage every day.

Make no mistake. When a marriage is focused on itself, it is the devil's playground.

The enemy will always, always be working tirelessly to bend your thoughts and heart toward yourself. It was the first sin, and it is what Lucifer is concerned with: his own desires and self. So whenever a spouse is concerned first with themselves, the enemy's job is easy, if not done. Some marriages... many marriages... are so self-focused that I'm afraid the enemy need not do very much at all to keep it steadily heading away from each other and God.

But covenant love spurs us to put on the armor of God within our marriage. When we forgive, it is a blow to all the enemy's efforts to divide us and spur resentment. When we are patient, it thwarts the enemy's efforts to keep us a small step away from anger and inflicting pain. When we are thankful for the trials in our marriage, we disarm the enemy in all his efforts to use them for his purposes. When we rejoice in the truth, we are protected from his lies.

That passage (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)... that same one we see cross-stitched next to cute animals on arts & crafts, and see quoted in Christian romances, and see written in cursive on various feminine accessories... is actually a list of brutally effective weapons in the fight to defend our marriage. They are battle commands, and you are fully enabled to carry them out by wearing the Armor of God.

The Armor of God, though it protects you, is not worn selfishly. It is taken up in the manner that a father might take up a gun to stop an invader in the night from reaching his children. It is in this manner that we must dedicate ourselves to wearing it in order to protect our marriage from the purposes of the enemy, and even from ourselves. How does it do this? Here are a few examples:

The Breastplate of Righteousness. A breastplate's primary function is to protect your heart. What the enemy doesn't want you to see is that following God with everything you have is the greatest protection your heart can have. We often do things within our marriage to protect ourselves from hurt, but following God and loving your spouse wholly without reservation is a realm protected by God. If you love the Lord with all your heart, what can man do?

The Shield of Faith. Our faith in God's control and sovereignty protects us from so much. When we feel discouraged about our spouse's behavior, our faith in God gives us hope. When we want to yell and scream, taking a moment to remember that He is in control and it is all happening according to His will may stop you from sinning any further and causing more damage. When your spouse does the absolute worse thing they could possibly do toward you, it is your faith in God that will enable you to trust in His sovereignty, healing, and give you a heart of forgiveness. Nothing but faith can do any of these things.

The Sword of the Spirit. The degree to which we can spiritually protect our marriage from the enemy and drive him away is in direct correlation with our knowledge and heart for Scripture. It is what enables us to overthrow lies, realize what's important, keep our eyes on Christ and remember what He's done for us, and tread our way through the darkest of times without permanent damage. Like in Psalm 1, your marriage's health and strength is based on how deeply rooted it is in Scripture (side note: If you engage in marital activities before you are married, what will hold you together? Your foundation of strength changes from the protection of being in His will to the degree of which you are benefiting from the relationship. When your relationship starts to become unpleasant and less beneficial to you, your commitment waivers and eventually collapses, and is often fully justified in your mind all along.)

The Sandals of the Gospel. We are not married for marriage's sake. We are married as part of His plan to share His love and truth with the world. Think about it. If both spouses are fully focused on the Gospel and spreading it, they are focused outward and upward, not inward. It is focusing inward that builds resentment and inflates insignificant things into real problems. A Gospel-focused couple will even find that they love and forgive each other more.
A practical example of this might be a husband forgiving his wife for forgetting to remove trash from his car because the presence of trash in his car does not hinder the spread of the Gospel or the furtherance of the Kingdom. He is more forgiving because he realizes they are at war, and perhaps those pieces of trash are not crucial to the victory or defeat of the Kingdom. Perhaps if he's irritated at something as small as this, his priorities are just a little out of line (not that this is a real-life example or anything...).

These are just a few of the ways the Armor of God is necessary for marriage. The true applications are infinite. Husbands and wives must learn how to take up arms and defend each other, not themselves. This is what Christ did for us: He gave Himself up totally in order to protect us, forgive us, and bring hope to the world. Our marriage's success or failure is wholly dependent on the degree to which we make this our priority as well.

What Has Marriage Been Replaced With? (Part 1)

Lately I have begun to see the world wondering why anyone would get married. They say, "The divorce rate is getting higher and higher... why would we even bother?" The result of this attitude is an increasing habit of moving in together before marriage.

Let me tell you what I've realized. Paul told us that marriage is a model of Christ & the church. Christ saved us "while we were still sinners." He didn't enter a relationship and make a covenant with us based on merit, and he doesn't keep it because of how we serve or worship Him. He simply did it because He is love.

In the same way, marriage is a covenant love that is maintained by the seriousness of the covenant itself... the commitment to unconditional love, that other relationships do not have. It's what marriage is: a covenant to love each other no matter what... not because they love you back, but because you've committed to love them no matter what.

Therefore, marriage, as a covenant, is based on grace and mercy. It was designed to reflect Christ's unwavering, all-forgiving love for us... love that never stops, and never fluctuates no matter how far we fall. Marriage, therefore, is based on a covenant... not based on being in love, or romance, or some moral ideal... it is based on the grace and mercy of the covenant between you. This covenant offers a protection you will not find anywhere else.

Let me ask you: when you move in with your significant other, why not just marry them first?
To test things out? To see if you can live together, or are "sexually compatible"?
Just in case?

But let me ask you this, then: why would it not work out? Why would you break up? Obviously, the only reason it would not work out is sin. You break up because they won't listen, or because of unfaithfulness, or lies, or foolishness, or selfishness, or any number of things that ultimately boil down to sin. You keep one foot out because you're fearful that one day they'll do something or reach a point that is just too sinful to deal with... or you will eventually do something to drive them away.

But a relationship based on a Godly covenant protects against abandonment. It protects you in mercy, in forgiveness, in grace. They continue to sin, but you have committed to them. See, the other way is ultimately selfish: if it gets unbearable, you can just leave, whereas a covenant would compel you to rely on Christ for the strength to remain with them, no matter what. The thing you do to protect yourself leaves you more open to harm. You've been sold a bill of goods... you've been sold a Styrofoam shield and been told it would reflect arrows and swords. Covenant love leaves you more freedom to be who you truly are, because without it you might finally do the one thing (or long culmination of many things) that drives them away, or vice versa.

At this point many might say that we see the same thing happening within marriages, so what's the difference?

The difference is in what you're pursuing. I'll continue this thought in the next post.