What Has Marriage Been Replaced With? (Part 1)

Lately I have begun to see the world wondering why anyone would get married. They say, "The divorce rate is getting higher and higher... why would we even bother?" The result of this attitude is an increasing habit of moving in together before marriage.

Let me tell you what I've realized. Paul told us that marriage is a model of Christ & the church. Christ saved us "while we were still sinners." He didn't enter a relationship and make a covenant with us based on merit, and he doesn't keep it because of how we serve or worship Him. He simply did it because He is love.

In the same way, marriage is a covenant love that is maintained by the seriousness of the covenant itself... the commitment to unconditional love, that other relationships do not have. It's what marriage is: a covenant to love each other no matter what... not because they love you back, but because you've committed to love them no matter what.

Therefore, marriage, as a covenant, is based on grace and mercy. It was designed to reflect Christ's unwavering, all-forgiving love for us... love that never stops, and never fluctuates no matter how far we fall. Marriage, therefore, is based on a covenant... not based on being in love, or romance, or some moral ideal... it is based on the grace and mercy of the covenant between you. This covenant offers a protection you will not find anywhere else.

Let me ask you: when you move in with your significant other, why not just marry them first?
To test things out? To see if you can live together, or are "sexually compatible"?
Just in case?

But let me ask you this, then: why would it not work out? Why would you break up? Obviously, the only reason it would not work out is sin. You break up because they won't listen, or because of unfaithfulness, or lies, or foolishness, or selfishness, or any number of things that ultimately boil down to sin. You keep one foot out because you're fearful that one day they'll do something or reach a point that is just too sinful to deal with... or you will eventually do something to drive them away.

But a relationship based on a Godly covenant protects against abandonment. It protects you in mercy, in forgiveness, in grace. They continue to sin, but you have committed to them. See, the other way is ultimately selfish: if it gets unbearable, you can just leave, whereas a covenant would compel you to rely on Christ for the strength to remain with them, no matter what. The thing you do to protect yourself leaves you more open to harm. You've been sold a bill of goods... you've been sold a Styrofoam shield and been told it would reflect arrows and swords. Covenant love leaves you more freedom to be who you truly are, because without it you might finally do the one thing (or long culmination of many things) that drives them away, or vice versa.

At this point many might say that we see the same thing happening within marriages, so what's the difference?

The difference is in what you're pursuing. I'll continue this thought in the next post.