How Does The Armor of God Protect a Marriage?

Ephesians 6:10-12 - "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."

Something I can almost perpetually guilty of is forgetting about the fact that our marriage is taking place in the middle of a massive war, and that everything that happens within our marriage is part of that war, helping either the enemy or our King. And my forgetfulness only contributes to the enemy's ability to turn my thoughts toward myself, thus damaging my marriage every day.

Make no mistake. When a marriage is focused on itself, it is the devil's playground.

The enemy will always, always be working tirelessly to bend your thoughts and heart toward yourself. It was the first sin, and it is what Lucifer is concerned with: his own desires and self. So whenever a spouse is concerned first with themselves, the enemy's job is easy, if not done. Some marriages... many marriages... are so self-focused that I'm afraid the enemy need not do very much at all to keep it steadily heading away from each other and God.

But covenant love spurs us to put on the armor of God within our marriage. When we forgive, it is a blow to all the enemy's efforts to divide us and spur resentment. When we are patient, it thwarts the enemy's efforts to keep us a small step away from anger and inflicting pain. When we are thankful for the trials in our marriage, we disarm the enemy in all his efforts to use them for his purposes. When we rejoice in the truth, we are protected from his lies.

That passage (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)... that same one we see cross-stitched next to cute animals on arts & crafts, and see quoted in Christian romances, and see written in cursive on various feminine accessories... is actually a list of brutally effective weapons in the fight to defend our marriage. They are battle commands, and you are fully enabled to carry them out by wearing the Armor of God.

The Armor of God, though it protects you, is not worn selfishly. It is taken up in the manner that a father might take up a gun to stop an invader in the night from reaching his children. It is in this manner that we must dedicate ourselves to wearing it in order to protect our marriage from the purposes of the enemy, and even from ourselves. How does it do this? Here are a few examples:

The Breastplate of Righteousness. A breastplate's primary function is to protect your heart. What the enemy doesn't want you to see is that following God with everything you have is the greatest protection your heart can have. We often do things within our marriage to protect ourselves from hurt, but following God and loving your spouse wholly without reservation is a realm protected by God. If you love the Lord with all your heart, what can man do?

The Shield of Faith. Our faith in God's control and sovereignty protects us from so much. When we feel discouraged about our spouse's behavior, our faith in God gives us hope. When we want to yell and scream, taking a moment to remember that He is in control and it is all happening according to His will may stop you from sinning any further and causing more damage. When your spouse does the absolute worse thing they could possibly do toward you, it is your faith in God that will enable you to trust in His sovereignty, healing, and give you a heart of forgiveness. Nothing but faith can do any of these things.

The Sword of the Spirit. The degree to which we can spiritually protect our marriage from the enemy and drive him away is in direct correlation with our knowledge and heart for Scripture. It is what enables us to overthrow lies, realize what's important, keep our eyes on Christ and remember what He's done for us, and tread our way through the darkest of times without permanent damage. Like in Psalm 1, your marriage's health and strength is based on how deeply rooted it is in Scripture (side note: If you engage in marital activities before you are married, what will hold you together? Your foundation of strength changes from the protection of being in His will to the degree of which you are benefiting from the relationship. When your relationship starts to become unpleasant and less beneficial to you, your commitment waivers and eventually collapses, and is often fully justified in your mind all along.)

The Sandals of the Gospel. We are not married for marriage's sake. We are married as part of His plan to share His love and truth with the world. Think about it. If both spouses are fully focused on the Gospel and spreading it, they are focused outward and upward, not inward. It is focusing inward that builds resentment and inflates insignificant things into real problems. A Gospel-focused couple will even find that they love and forgive each other more.
A practical example of this might be a husband forgiving his wife for forgetting to remove trash from his car because the presence of trash in his car does not hinder the spread of the Gospel or the furtherance of the Kingdom. He is more forgiving because he realizes they are at war, and perhaps those pieces of trash are not crucial to the victory or defeat of the Kingdom. Perhaps if he's irritated at something as small as this, his priorities are just a little out of line (not that this is a real-life example or anything...).

These are just a few of the ways the Armor of God is necessary for marriage. The true applications are infinite. Husbands and wives must learn how to take up arms and defend each other, not themselves. This is what Christ did for us: He gave Himself up totally in order to protect us, forgive us, and bring hope to the world. Our marriage's success or failure is wholly dependent on the degree to which we make this our priority as well.

What Has Marriage Been Replaced With? (Part 1)

Lately I have begun to see the world wondering why anyone would get married. They say, "The divorce rate is getting higher and higher... why would we even bother?" The result of this attitude is an increasing habit of moving in together before marriage.

Let me tell you what I've realized. Paul told us that marriage is a model of Christ & the church. Christ saved us "while we were still sinners." He didn't enter a relationship and make a covenant with us based on merit, and he doesn't keep it because of how we serve or worship Him. He simply did it because He is love.

In the same way, marriage is a covenant love that is maintained by the seriousness of the covenant itself... the commitment to unconditional love, that other relationships do not have. It's what marriage is: a covenant to love each other no matter what... not because they love you back, but because you've committed to love them no matter what.

Therefore, marriage, as a covenant, is based on grace and mercy. It was designed to reflect Christ's unwavering, all-forgiving love for us... love that never stops, and never fluctuates no matter how far we fall. Marriage, therefore, is based on a covenant... not based on being in love, or romance, or some moral ideal... it is based on the grace and mercy of the covenant between you. This covenant offers a protection you will not find anywhere else.

Let me ask you: when you move in with your significant other, why not just marry them first?
To test things out? To see if you can live together, or are "sexually compatible"?
Just in case?

But let me ask you this, then: why would it not work out? Why would you break up? Obviously, the only reason it would not work out is sin. You break up because they won't listen, or because of unfaithfulness, or lies, or foolishness, or selfishness, or any number of things that ultimately boil down to sin. You keep one foot out because you're fearful that one day they'll do something or reach a point that is just too sinful to deal with... or you will eventually do something to drive them away.

But a relationship based on a Godly covenant protects against abandonment. It protects you in mercy, in forgiveness, in grace. They continue to sin, but you have committed to them. See, the other way is ultimately selfish: if it gets unbearable, you can just leave, whereas a covenant would compel you to rely on Christ for the strength to remain with them, no matter what. The thing you do to protect yourself leaves you more open to harm. You've been sold a bill of goods... you've been sold a Styrofoam shield and been told it would reflect arrows and swords. Covenant love leaves you more freedom to be who you truly are, because without it you might finally do the one thing (or long culmination of many things) that drives them away, or vice versa.

At this point many might say that we see the same thing happening within marriages, so what's the difference?

The difference is in what you're pursuing. I'll continue this thought in the next post.

Where is Our Joy? (Part 1)

There are many times in our lives when our happiness and service to God seem at odds with each other. We often struggle with sin because our desires (and so, by default, our happiness) is at stake, and I think our internal struggle often looks something like: "Do I do what I want to do, what will make me happy, or do I do what I know He wants me to do?" Surely the enemy works hard to put our decisions in these sorts of terms, as he can then easily emphasize how good the alternative to serving God looks, and simultaneously make it seem like choosing to serve God is dry, empty, sacrificial, unpleasant, and generally no fun at all.

But the problem is that the above question betrays a truth about ourselves: we do not really believe God is concerned with our joy. We tend to think that we must sacrifice our happiness most of the time if we wish to please Him.

Now surely this is true in some sense, but for the sake of these thoughts and clarity in communication, I must take a moment to define some terms. For the sake of my explanation, I mean by "Happiness": a temporal, temporary state of emotion; by "Joy" I mean: something deeper, something felt by our immortal spirit, something that does not change from moment to moment... something more eternal.

Now it is my contention that God is the source of all joy (1). He is to joy what the Sun is to sunlight, and we cannot have sunlight without the Sun. If this is true, then sin is what shades us from the sun, like an umbrella, a tent, a building, or even a deep cave. The enemy is simply working hard to convince us that we would rather be in the shade, and that there we will be happy (and certainly there is appeal, for in full sunlight our very nature is exposed completely), while God is calling to us all the while, saying "This is not what you truly desire, for you are like a flower that requires constant sunlight."

And it is true. A tropical flower will thrive best in constant sunlight, and the less sunlight it receives, the less healthy it will be, until it eventually dies from deprivation.

This truth has struck me like a bullet in the chest. God is not only concerned with our joy, but focused on it, for we are designed to need Him as a tropical flower needs the sun, and He is thus glorified by us finding our joy in Him and pursuing that joy. He is concerned primarily with His glory, and our joy comes from glorifying Him. God's will and our joy are not at odds... they are the same thing.

So even though He has called us to sacrifice our lives in service to Him, we will find that serving Him relentlessly, loving Him passionately, and enjoying Him fully will be what allows us to truly come alive.



(1). Psalm 43:4, Philip. 4:4, Luke 6:22-23, 1 Thess. 1:6, Gal. 5:22

Overthrowing Twitter

Twitter seems to be the new trend in online social networking. I keep hearing about it left and right, and almost every artist, celebrity, organization, ministry, church, restaurant, company, co-worker, neighbor, neighbor's pet, and homeless person has an account and tweets daily.

Now the purpose of Twitter as I have come to understand it is this: to update your "followers" throughout the day on events in your life, emotions felt, flat tires achieved, meals eaten, links visited, videos watched, aches felt, sicknesses experienced, dishes washed, clothing laundered, songs listened to, political opinions had, thoughts thought, pains felt, breathes taken, and bowel-movements achieved. As far as I can tell, Twitter is for the most part a detailed, self-perpetuated news-ticker on every mundane detail of our lives.

At least that is how most people use it.

Now, I'm not going to condemn people who use it like that... but I have to ask, is that really what God wants us to do with it?

For years my close friends and I have been wrestling with the question, "If every single detail of my life were dedicated to glorifying God, what would my life look like?" So I asked myself: "If I were to make a Twitter account in order to glorify God, what would that look like?" In fact, we are told in Ephesians 5:15-17 to make the best use of our time in order to please Him... so how can I use Twitter in a way that is not a complete waste of time?

Now I don't claim to have figured it out, but here's my theory:

I think Twitter would be an excellent tool for believers to encourage each other to stay their mind on Christ throughout the day, because:
1.) We all struggle with keeping our mind on God throughout the day, and
2.) Most of us check our Facebook/MySpace/Twitter at least daily, so the stage is set.

So what if we only posted thoughts, Scripture, quotes, prayers, prayer requests, revelations, and things God is doing with us? I know I would be encouraged throughout the day knowing that my brothers and sisters are thinking about God. This is a way the Body of Christ could be building each other up and feeding each other spiritually, even if we only see each other once or twice a week... or year... or decade!

Anyone interested in joining me in my little quest?

@shadowglo


ps... If you so feel compelled to join me, you can set up an account at twitter.com, and it's pretty easy.

pss... If you were tagged in this note, it wasn't random, I just thought you might find this of interest!

pppssssssss.... I know "overthrowing" is perhaps a poor choice of wording to describe what I'm actually trying to do, but overthrowing just sounds so much more revolutionary than "using in a manner that's different than the average user".

Of Tears and Scripture

Below is a blog I posted long ago on MySpace, but was reminded of it recently, as it seems to be extremely appropriate considering the last few days in my life, and some of its truth speaks to me out of the past even now as I re-read it.

___________________________

God pulled me into a journey this week, and I have to admit it was not one of those times where I was excited about what He was doing. It was challenging, it was hard, and it drained me more than I realized. But then He brought me to this passage:

Psalm 126:5-6 - "May those who sow in tears reap with shouts of joy! He that goes forth weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him."

What does this mean? I had read this passage before and honestly didn't absorb it too much. But now the light is shed upon it, like a door with sunlight behind it opened on a dark and dusty shack, revealing some forgotten treasure hidden within.
That treasure is hope. It is hard for us to do His will when life is not going so well. When we are challenged every day to the point of wanting to fall over (and sometimes giving in). It is a hard thing that the wounded are still commanded to fight. But God is not cruel, He simply sees everything, whereas we do not. God sees the other end of this thing, even beyond the particular hard time we are going through, and He tells us it is good. He looks beyond the storm in which you are casting seeds in the mud, and He tells you that one day you will leap with joy through these same fields when they are overripe with abundance.
So what does this mean to those of us who can't farm? People. People are watching you. They are watching to see how you handle the good times and the bad. I submit to you that hard times allow for better planting in them, like the storm that softens the soil. The bad times require more reliance on God, and that is the visible thing that God can use to save souls. Thus we will rejoice one day, though we do not see it now, when the fruit of our labors are revealed to enjoy.
And so it is with this hope in mind that I say this:

Well, O My Tears, if you will not leave me, then you will water the seeds.

A Short Word on Invisible Fruit

1 Corinthians 15:58 - "Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain."

Galatians 6:9 - "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

Many, and I would venture to say all of you who read this will at some point in your life encounter a time where you feel as though your work bears no spiritual fruit. You make real effort to evangelize, only to face indifference. You toil in youth ministry only to see kids become more bored. You preach every day, begging a flock to see how God is better than what they are living for, yet they only check their watches. This is a very hard time.

But be not discouraged, brothers and sisters. For God has ordained that some be sowers and others be harvesters, and all of us both at different times. You could spend your entire life sacrificing everything to evangelism, and yet not see a single soul come to know Christ, and your work would not be in vain. You are sowing. When you do see someone come to know Him, you are often harvesting that which others have sown in the past and saw no fruit.

And so we might draw some bit of encouragement from the fact that our work is not in vain. Though we may see no fruit in something we are lead to do, God will not hold back His reward from you, for only He is able to see the full measure of effect which our obedience has on the world.

To Love My Enemy

A little while ago the New York Giants, who were the lowest rated team in the playoffs, having barely made a wild-card spot, faced and beat the New England Patriots, who were speculated by some to be the best team in NFL history. The Giants won in a upset of epic proportions.
I was in attendance at our church's youth Super Bowl Party to witness this spectacular event, and at half-time one of my best friends, Jared, gave a message about doing all to the glory of God. He mentioned a 60 Minutes interview with Tom Brady in which he stated that in spite of his astounding success, he did not feel satisfied.
Now the Patriots had, throughout the season, cheated, played dirty, taunted other teams, and generally conducted themselves in rather arrogant manners. Even ESPN called their coach, Bill Belichick, the "evil" coach in their coverage of the Colts/Patriots game (which they called good vs. evil). As a result of their attitudes, I despised them as a team. I made many jokes about them, referring to Brady and Belichick as Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine. When the Colts defeated the Patriots last year, I said to the crowd I was with: "And when the game is over, Manning will throw the ring into Mount Doom and Belichick will be destroyed!"

Everyone laughed. Everyone agreed.

But then God began moving in me, and here is what He showed me.
Tom Brady has spent his entire life pursuing and acquiring the things of this world that will not last, realizing somewhere that these things do not fulfill but being at a loss as to what does, and is well on his way to suffering Hell and eternal wrath, and instead of my heart utterly breaking for him, I instead make a joke out of his wickedness.

I have laughed at his depravity. And I am greatly ashamed. Now my heart breaks.

Of course he is a jerk! Of course he is arrogant! Of course he can be dishonest! He does not have Christ, and that is the only difference between me and this man I have despised. I have been rescued and he is still drowning, and I stand on the shore and mock him as he takes his last breaths. Of course he is my enemy and God's, and I am not loving my enemy.

Now if your child were to contract cancer, you would not rejoice. They are your child, and you love them dearly. Indeed, would you not cry out to God with many tears that He heal them? This is why Proverbs 24:17-18 says that we should not rejoice when our enemy falls, and that God will turn His wrath on us if we do. Loving does not simply mean abstaining from the celebration of their downfall, but actively and passionately praying and interceding on their behalf against God's vengeance on them... and we must pray this with much the same fervor, brokenness, and determination as a parent would against a cancerous disease in their child. That is loving your enemy.



Matthew 5:44, Proverbs 2:17-18, Romans 12:19-21